A facial hair extravaganza

The following is a very special blog post brought to you by co-authors, Glenn and Lucy. A few months ago, Glenn came back from a 10-day trip to Alaska looking like this: He decided to try to grow a beard and Lucy didn't object, although she did feel like she was sneaking around with her boyfriend Jake, a lumberjack. That was an especially odd feeling to have while standing next to Glenn at church. The beard started to fill in pretty quickly. Before we knew it, we had reached Full Beard status. Here's Glenn's interpretation of Full Beard: Rugged but sophisticated. Looks equally good at a logging camp or a poetry gathering. It adds a bit of earthiness. Commonly worn by prophets and the homeless.

Lucy's interpretation of Full Beard: We won't have to hire anyone to dress up as Santa Clause this year.

So after a few weeks of Full Beard, Glenn decided to scale back to the Goatee, or Goat as it's commonly referred to around here. Glenn's interpretation on the Goatee: Has a sporty look but a level of unpredictability to it. It's tough yet approachable. I may be interested in what you have to say or I may punch you. Commonly worn by athletes and bouncers.

Lucy's interpretation: In order to adequately immortalize the Autumn of Facial Hair, we had several photo shoots in the front yard (as you can tell). In this photo, the goatee is relaxed yet serious. Or wait, maybe this one is friendly and frisky. I can't tell. The goatee is very complicated. Well, nothing lasts forever and so it goes for goatees. I woke up last Monday to this guy:

Yep, that's Glenn with a handlebar mustache. He asked me if I wanted to go ride motorcycles after work. I said no, but that I would be interested in helping him rob a stagecoach.

Glenn's interpretation of the handlebar mustache: Few things better say, "I have no idea what the opposite sex finds attractive." Wearer is extremely self-confident or dim-witted. Most commonly worn by bikers or cowboys.

Well, our journey with Facial Hair must come to an end. But not before we unveil the final stop on this wild ride. Beware, this last look is not for the faint of heart. Glenn's interpretation of the Hitler Mustache: Either a die hard Charlie Chaplin fan or deranged, with a potential cannibalistic streak. Either way it is not recommended to approach this person. Or wear this look to work.

Lucy's interpretation: Please, just shave it off as fast as you can and don't you dare leave the house looking like that.

Well, it's a few days before Thanksgiving and Glenn is back to his clean-shaven self. I'm happy to have his face back and the money we are now spending on shaving cream and the various accessories is at least not being spent on therapy for our children. Besides, there's always next hunting season. Civil war beard? Fu man chu? Neck hair? Stay tuned!